Ten Things Your Mom Never Taught You...And some that she did...

There are things that only your best friend will tell you. Today, I'm your best friend. As we go into 2013, and you work on your resolutions, think of these as your 10 Commandments for all things superficial, unladylike and just plain wrong. This is a judgement-free zone.

1. Never, EVER go to the salon while on your period. This one is from my mom, and it totally holds true. Do you tend to want to change the world around you when you're on your period? Or while pregnant? I certainly do. I want to paint my bathroom lime green, dye my hair auburn and get bangs, but I instantly regret it. There's something about hormones that makes us desire change during that time of month. So next time you get the urge to chop your hair into a bob, put down the phone, and wait a week. The salon will still be there. My suggestion for curbing the moment of insanity? Get a spray tan or a mani/pedi. Do something that will allow for a little change, but won't leave you hating your hair when you're already feeling bloated and pissed off at the world.

2. Think of Facebook as your Frenemy.  Facebook and Twitter don't love you like I do. They have their own interests in mind. They want your secrets and they don't care who they tell. Remember that every photo, post and snippy remark can be erased from your page, but it doesn't mean it's erased from the world wide web. It's still out there. So think twice before tweeting a passive aggressive comment about how your BFF just hurt your feelings or before posting that photo of your sister throwing up on her 21st Bday party. Your future boss isn't just judging you; to them, you are who your friends are.

Tip: Develop a code word with your friends to ask them to remove undesirable photos of you. Sometimes they may think you look cute or they just think they look cute, but you have a double chin or your arms look fat...whatever. Put the code word in the comments, it looks a lot better to the outside world (who may see your comment before your friend does) than "Ew, remove this please!"

3. Detox your circle of friends. I could write a FULL blog post on this, and maybe someday I will. However, today I will just leave you with this: if someone brings you down or puts you down, get rid of them. Simple as that. If they are jealous, condescending, petty or competitive, they do not want to be your friend. Don't let your desire to be liked allow you to be treated poorly. Once you rid yourself of toxic relationships, you make room for the universe to bring amazing people into your life.

4. You are only responsible for your own happiness. Numbers 3 & 4 go hand-in-hand. If you feel too guilty to end a toxic friendship, then you're doing yourself a disservice. It is not your job to make the people around you happy, especially if it is at the expense of your own happiness. This includes family members, partners, colleagues and friends. Mom always taught you to put others first. Erase that from your brain, I'm telling you to be selfish. You know that oxygen mask on a plane metaphor? It's right on. You need to help yourself first so that you can then help others, and if some Negative Nancy is always bringing you down, you're not going to be able to help either of you.

This one is a two-parter. No one else is responsible for your happiness. I've seen this a lot with my newly dating or newly married friends, and I've fallen victim to it in the past. Disney and Fairytales have taught us that we need to find love to be happy. Wrong. It's actually quite the reverse, we need to be happy to find love. Happiness is an internal feeling, it cannot be bought or replaced by external things. Expecting a baby, husband or pet to fulfill whatever is empty inside is not only going to leave you feeling more empty, but it's also a lot of pressure to put on another living being.

5. The Diamond Rule: Do onto yourself as you'd have others do for you. Simply put, stop degrading yourself. Don't want others to see you as stupid? Stop calling yourself stupid. Want others to treat you with respect, treat yourself with respect. The outside world is taking its cues from you; if you do not give yourself love and respect, how do you think the world will treat you?

6. Being the other man/woman is still cheating. I'm not sure that I believe the Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater adage. In my world people can change. However, I do believe that if someone is capable of cheating with you, they are capable of cheating on you. Unless you're a homewrecker, you probably aren't out there looking for some married schmuck to steal, but it's not always that simple. Love happens at the most unlikely and sometimes unfortunate times. You may tell yourself that the other woman/man deserves it or that you're a better match, and both may be true, but everyone deserves closure in a relationship. If the person you're with is not worth the wait while he/she ends the relationship properly, then the person is not worth your time.

7. There's enough out there for everyone. By enough I mean enough love, money, success, opportunity, fun and whatever you're fearful you're missing out on. I read an article not too long ago about competition and jealousy and how one of the major reasons for feeling jealous or competitive is that the person is fearful that if someone has something they want, then there's less of it out there. This mentality does nothing for you. Being jealous doesn't get you the things you want, it just makes you bitter (and bitterness makes you fat*).  Remember the Facebook is your Frenemy comment? If you're feeling down about your current life status, financial situation or job, take a break from Facebook, seeing all of the status updates about Sally Whosit living in Paris and Kevin Doodlebug working your dream job does not help your psyche. Be happy for your friends and thankful that they're living their dreams, because the fact that someone you know is able to do it, means you can too. If I have love, it doesn't mean there's less love out there for you... it means there's love out there.

8. Pack an emergency overnight kit for late nights out. You may feel like a complete Jezebel throwing this kit into your satchel, but trust me, you'll feel a lot worse without it when you're strolling by a brunch spot with church-going grannies eyeing you down in last night's clothes. (This is not at all speaking from experience).

9. Feeling unbalanced? Apply the 80/20 Rule. The 80/20 Rule is an economic principal of yadablahblah lala lala. I realize I lost your attention at "economic." Here's what I'm telling you to do...want those Louboutins you've been drooling over for a year? Take your income, after paying bills, divide what's leftover -- 80% goes toward your 1st goal (Savings, Fun Money, etc.), 20% goes toward your second goal (like saving for your Lous). This can be applied in other areas of life, such as time spent on the computer, exercise, diet, etc.

10. Always wear nice undies. And shave your legs. This one is also from my mom. I learned my lesson the hard way, as a college student in an Ohio winter, I was in a car accident and my jeans needed to be cut off of me. There I was in front of some hot EMT guys in my laundry day undies with unshaven legs. Awesome.

*This is not a proven statement, it just felt right at the moment.